Love Me Lena PRINT

All paper sizes larger than 30 x 40 cm are limited editions and come numbered with a Certificate of Authenticity.

Printed on Canon Fine Art Superior Textured Cotton Paper, 320 g/m².

Editions:

Each limited edition is finite and will not be reprinted once sold out.

• 30 x 40 – open edition
• 40 x 50 – edition of 50
• 70 x 100 – edition of 25
• 100 x 140 – edition of 10

My thoughts behind this piece

In the image you see three subjects: 

a woman, standing tall in the middle of the page with her back to the observer, 

a younger woman clinging to her legs, 

and at their feet, a newly deceased lamb.

When writing the story that adheres to this image I picked up several bibles to study the tale of Lot's wife. 

Quick summary: God was destroying Sodom and Gomorrah, two cities corrupted by wickedness and sin. He sent two angels to tell Lot, a man which God wished to spare, to flee with his wife and daughters so they would not be destroyed with the city. The angels gave the family one instruction: Flee, without looking back!

But as Lot, his wife, and children were fleeing, Lot's wife couldn't help but look back, and in the moment she did she was turned by God, essentially calcified, into a pillar of salt.

I began researching Lot's wife as an archetype for Lena, one of the foster mothers I had during my time in care, portrayed in my drawing as the standing figure, which the younger woman representing me, is clinging to. 

I was quick to project this biblical metaphor onto her, as I saw in her the tendency to cling to what harms her, only to realize that it is I, who embodies Lot's wife in this composition.

I don't believe God was angry at Lot's wife, nor do I see her as a cautionary tale of disobedience. She is to me, not a defiant figure, but a grieving one. Lot’s wife didn't just glance over her shoulder at her city in curiosity; the Hebrew word used here is נָבַט (nāḇaṭ), it means to turn back with a longing. She was devastatingly attached to the city, and in turn she was preserved in it forever. She could not forget what she was leaving behind, so she remained there at the cost of her promised future.

I too, listened not to the many voices, both internal and external, telling me to never look back. The part of me wanting to retreat to a time that was already past me looked back still. And this is the place where I remain. 

In Luke 17:23-33 Jesus says: "Remember Lot's Wife! Whoever tries to keep their life will lose it, and whoever loses their life will preserve it." Jesus was not condemning her, but using her as a symbol of attachment, to tell the universal truth: If you cling to the life behind you, you will lose the life ahead of you.

We look to judge the paths of other people, not realizing it is actually through ourselves we look at others. It is through my own eyes I see her, when I look at her, I am looking through me. 

Once again I find that the stories I place others in, disregarding my own involvement, are actually also embodied by me. All of us have in some way been Lot's wife turning back with longing, seduced by nostalgia, to the thing that harms us.